my heart is your tonight,
but its all heavy.
tears drip down my face,
the taste so distinct yet unfamiliar.
i smile through this calamity
but i need a break to breakthrough it all.

--{do not patronize me, based on the above lines.

i feel like i've been outta the home too much(for the first time in my life), to realise how fast things are going. 3days to school start and i've been coming back aft 10everyday.
definately, i know im just relishing every bit of the last day of holidays but i needed a break.
and i got it, FINALLY. turned down the date on a saturday, surprise surprise. but i just wanted to glue myself to the chair and be isolated from the world just for 12hrs. its a very loud and clear msg that i AM SO NOT a loner of any sort, but i needed a breather more likely for many many unidentified things.


so today, i'd been home with the the dvd wedding crashers on my lap,
handfull of grapes and bottle full of lime juice after my lunch.
texting ppl here and there and gluing myself to the blackbox for the 1hr 45mins flick.
WHICH WAS THE FUUNNIEST m18 FLICK I'VE EVER WATCHED(:
if you like horny,funnnnny to the maximum,witty and owen wilson! watch it(:
(but bewarned, there were a pocket full of promiscuity)
i wanna catch you, me and dupree soon, anyone interested text me baby!*
then my potential next target was desperate.h season 3((: i keeping the best for the last;

on a much more less-homy like tone.

my new years/hari-raya party was pretty awesome! my house was packed to the max, there were like gabazillion shoes outside my hse. thedarlings came over at arnd 8ish but it was still packed, hung around in my room and as the hostess(: i did the honours of it! we did the regulars and just pretty much were HIGH!((: but at 10, we got out of the house and played our own child-like games which were very entertaining(: celebrated anneh's birthday! gosh, his friends were dead nice. lovely ppl all left at arnd 12ish. what happens aft a partys over?! THE CLEANING UP! heh. slept at the devil's hour, safely.

p.s - i hope it made you all smile(: i loveyou all mightloads!

























p.s- jerome&yg, why you'll dunt take photos arh? jareds the only spontaneous one!*











had the 6bee re-union the very next day. thank you darling amanda&vrin for letting me sleep in(: or if not, you'll be meeting so foobaugly girl with panda eyes. zomg, everyone we expected turned up! oh BABY! that was the best. rgp 6bee's totallly rock when it comes to unity.
what an irony really, my school's called unity and it has not much form of togetherness but my primary sch has that much! this reunion is gg to annual till we're 18 or maybe even older((: so super uber awesome to catch up with everyone and talkk till forever, bbq all the food and make a complete fool of ourselves without bothering cos only we know each other for 4years!(:
thank you to everyone who came, loveyou tonnes!






















































--




















why do some big boys have fights all the time, and some pretty girls are so quietly bitchy? the chick that clings on to the prettyboy is the miss popular with everyth she whims. why not be just who you wanna be and be happy. im goddamn thankful my friends are glad with me. this world lives with a facade, everyone has a one. the thing that struck me the most.. "..he put on a facade, he doesnt mean anyth la"
I MEAN WTH? why is life so unwillingly bizzare.

thanks to this. in the mood to blog and write non stop. but my com's lagging like shit. eeeeyeerrrr.









merry christmas they'd say, and yes it was a pretty jolly good one. i dunt usually celebrate christmas literally cos im not a christian but i do believe in the spirit of giving! so i occupied my self with the big family cos they were at my place where i did give them alot. its a saying that its the thought that counts! but i really didnt wanna just think and end up giving nth, so i bought everyone foodies that they cravedd =D whats more important the digestion?! it was a dinner at shal's place and we did the usual. but it a more
festive way!(:

gggggg

so much for brooding over that good times are going to end,
do it for the minute of extreme blithe.
stop pondering over the future when you havent finished the present.
sometimes, secrets are best to be known.
my mouth is agape yet im contented and i've learnt.


thankyou/


iloveyoualot _.
and i'll miss you for the next 2yrs.
(you'll nvr read this i know, but i will)


I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
My dirty little secret
Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives

okay, i have to just let it alllllllllllllllllllll out, my heart is practically weighing like a gazibillion kilos worth of gaiety and supreme reminiscence. this might be really loong but its for me to just recall all the none futile things i've done and be glad i've ended the holidays witth a very high note.
now anyway, moving on 13days have blown by and its like the whole 06 is going to breeze by me in just 5whole litttle days. to some extent i am looking foward to a fresh brand new yr to start with but at the same time, i dunt wanna let go off my 14yr old lifee. i so dunt wanna step into the era of 3/7.

--

my holiday at portdickson/sarimban was abit of a beautiful calamity, lets just say. 3days 2 nights were not exactly the ideal holiday stay, when the monsoon season was at full swing and there was nth much to do at the destination itself! but since my family was famous for leisure,
we just hung arnd at the beach and pigged out quite abit. but to me seriously, the food wasnt that good either, i ended up with maggi soup or goreng mee and stuff like that for dinner. the best food wld go to seafood place which was directly opp the beach. i suggest no one steps into the place i went to, if you were posh and expecting alot of adventure. the only sort of interesting place we did go was the ostrich farm (which was extremely education fyi) where we learnt abt the ostrich cultivation, breeding, appetite of the animals (which are called peabrains)


etc and i rode and ostrich!((: super loadsa time was spent travelling but if you hv a family like mine, wldnt be that bad(: the one thing the car we rented to travel did was to make us bond, now i loveeeeee, my mommy's side alot alot!



































































next holiday destination : perth/thailand; i pray.


--

the day i got back, dinner with my darling maya&christina was a soothing wash to all my aches when we talkkeed and dinner-ed at p.s swensens and im in love with the chicken baked rice! thank you darlings, i still owe you girls cash :( i like like these 2 girls many many*(: more happiness to come, 060107! act3 begins!-BIGGRINS /
















--

eldds camp was just a day aft that, and my body was in the state of exhaustion but i still went for the camp which was a induced mild euphoria in me but we were all DEADSLEEPY thanks to the extremely cold atmosphere in the indian ochestra room&my stupid sleeping bag.
the seniors were such nice ppl to plan it all till it worked out well (though im not over the fact that the first prize was passion chocolates. TSK) the night walk was very veryy diffferent.
amalina's story was gooooooood and now my passion for the supernatural has been spurred more than ever. our " take you to the prata shop, we will make sure its hot, and thats all we've got "-indain accent plus "darrrrrrrling, i see rat scratches on the table, oh mmyyyyy why are we here?" lines bagged us the first prize. (: so the TAAHIRAs won! hahah, god im more than gloriously hounoured that the grp was named aft me. loveyou ppl tonnes man! jared&jonathan wished you were there, badly man.














to amalina,rashid,teckhan,warrent : thank you so much, we love you! for being the very leinent seniors and letting us 'comment' on everyth, to more fun at eldds! ((:

--

saraka's wedding preparation rolled in the next, and my eyes were tearing for sleep and my body was abt to tear apart but i had to rush to her place ryte aft the camp in my corpse like body for henna. tasneem is sucha darrrling(: cldnt hv survived that day without her bullshit! (: it turned out reallly well, the henna and the wedding as well. even though we were drowning in our own sweat. practically, rushing arnd till past mid-night&laughing at all the odd little rubbish.
since she was my very close cousin, and her wedding was the first that was held aft berapa's demise, there was alot of gaga abt it! super pleased that she was smiling all way roundd(: and there wasnt any hookups! WHOOTS FOR THE PATERNAL SIDE FAMILY(: i didnt know my cousins were this happening&hot, well yay for new sociable relations. dhoom2 with the cousins i guess! i think its time i post pictuures, my cramps are getting the better of me.

--































im very sure the 3hectic days of wedding had brought the girls&boys of all ages together!(:






im sucking in the harry.p information. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, its the last book alr! i dunt want it to finish so faast. and i dunt like waiting! my skin is practically tingling really bad as i read all the theories, well cheers to book 7, the deathly hallows will be in my hands once its released.
jkrowling better do it justice, or i'd be the most rotton girl on earth.


now bye bye world. and merryy xmas sugahhun!(x

i left you roses by your door ;



i've heard of a newhandphone coming in like a week(: (and no, i dunt think its a lie this time)
but instead of some gorgeous 7373 or z610i, its going to be a stupid 6280- =[ ahhhh!
i've decided to give all my material belongings a change, (handphone with bill(: , blogskin, msn (which was hacked. ahhh f*ck, its taa_thedeadlysin now) , a few femme' dresses, glitter on my jeans and etc) in hope of having a bright new 2007.
however things are taking a toll as the new yr draws closer, i cant bear to parrt with memories.
2years have flown by just so swiftly, if this can happen so uneasly fast then in the next 2 yrs
goodbye unity. seriously i have no hard core love for the school itself but the people there hv certainly played so much in my adolescence and i dunt wanna think of o's or grad nite at the mmt. for now, yeah i guess i shld take things at a slower pace and basically think of 3/7 thats dawning on me now. the 1/2 of my books are neatly piled on my table, time to pick them up and breeze abit through it and put a pitstop for my endless play.

this is a stupid smth, i was asked to do in thought of a reflection--


whats the naughtiest thing you did this year?
HAHAHA. uhm, naughty sounds abit wrong. so no, i havent done any arousing or wat so ever,
but i have done a few 'naughty' things like not call back ppl i shld hv, liedd to the divineones,
but the naughtiest wld be maybe to, telll ash i wld want a ring on our engadgement which nvr
happpened! HAHAA.

why shld santa come and grant you yr wishes?
i have been a pretty good child by making sure my marks were acceptable and i did get into c4((: plus i didnt exactly piss my mum to the maximum this yr! so i deserveeee it. but santa is faaaaaaakee.

so, list down watever you want from santa now&see if it comes true!
SANTA wont give me stuff, its up to my mummmy. a few of it are materialistic, rest are just wishes. {im not keeping my hopes high, cos i know most wont come true and i dunt want anyone cept for mummy to get me it cos im broke to get you back}

1. a white handbag (that compact yet sexaye)!
2. heels that arent to high!
3. shirt dress in brown or purple.
4. the z610i :( which i obv wont get :(
5. the jeans for gapp(:
6. 07 to have no regrets&lots of happiness.
7. finally meet model by like next yr. ahh/find out who ashvin is. errk.
8. a new wallet.
9. a sony digi cam (from papa as next yr bday present)
10. do well in everyth in sec3!

make promises you will keep in 07/the balance days of 06..
1. i will make sure i wont let mummy&papa down when it comes to studies.
2. go out with chocolixrr every month twice.
3. be full-fledged in YTA&TEEN THEATRE!
4. get jerome a present and make him happy.
5. my bill to be 30bucks only!
6. have a chalet next yr?

your sorries or regrets?
1. since there isnt no year restriction, i wanna apologize to kavi esp cos she was one of those ppl i wont ever forget for always standing by me during ameer. that was sucha a stupid stupid obsession and i dunt think i can ever say how sorry i am for bringing you'll down.
2. jared, sorry for hitting you oh so much and never really meaning it then, but now i do. heh.
3. kaamela sorry for being a bit of a pathetic sister, grow up child! i rather see you mature.
4. maya, sorry for the times i cldnt call you back when i was too busy&you were in trouble.
5. mindy sorry for always being deaf and not being able to hear you when you said smth during conference.
6. sorry komi&jays for nv going out with you properly you bitch.
7. sorry jerome i wasnt always there for you,
8. sorry god for not being a pious as i shld hv been,
9. sorry chrizzeh for not talking to you enough on the phone.
10. sorrry mummy for being abit of an ass when i wasnt sposed to be. heh

--not much regrets i think, just apologies.

3ppl beside yrself you hope with all yr heart to be cured from their pain.
-this is very very very very hard! :(
1. shaifudin(the guy with the disease, where his muscle detoriates)
2. papa i hope you dunt hv to slog so hard for us.
3. shahirra from her sickness :(

3ppl you wished are here with you, but arent alive.
1. MY BERAPA! (my paternal grandad)
2. MY MA! (my maternal grandma)
3. the child my aunt had a miscarriage with 13yrs back, whos only 1yr my senior.

+

im doing this cos shal wants me to, if not i'll be divinng into the pool.

1.how old did u wish u were
16? oh no. keep it young at 2(=
2.where were you when 911 happened?
home, my eyes kinda stuck to the screen&listening to my parents ramblings. "=.+
3.what do you do when vending machine steals your money?
KICK IT&CURSE IT DIES.
4.do you count yourself kind?
well yeah!
5.if you had to get a tatoo, where would it be?
i wld have screeched before the needle piereced through me, but if there was a not painful version then my hip bone or ankle.
6.if you could be fluent in any other language,what would it be?
malay.french.
7.do you know your neighbours?
pretty nice buncha people i can share cookies with when im alone. heh
8.what do u consider a vacation?
beach.killer swimsuit(hopefully killer body)darlings.perfect weather.CASHH.(cute guys wld make it spicy.hhaa)
9.do you follow your horoscope?
randomly at the end of certain days.
10.would you move for the person you love?
if his home is comfy and awesome. YES!(:
11.are you touchy feely?
sensitive? nah i dunt really think so.
12.do you believe that opposites attract?
to a certain extent but not really like opposite like cat&mouse.
13.dream job?
work in theatre or journalist.
14.favourite place to go to on weekends?
my secret getaway. HAHA
15.showers or baths?
i love lazy baths in my bath tub when its fine but other times, a loong shower(:
16.do you paint your nails?
nope not mmuch.
17.do you trust people easily?
when we get along ; yes.
18.what are your phobias?
CATS&BEES :(
20.do you keep a handwritten journal?
yeah since young, it turned into this though
21.where would u rather be right now?
the pool outside the gorgeous home im in now
22.who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
fuZzy sounds kinda wrong. but warm alot of poeple(: and maybe ..
23. heavy or light sleeper?
SLEEP IS BLISS
24. are u paranoid?
when things happen yes.
25.are you impatient?
depends on situation
26.who can u relate to?
people who i can talk to.
27.how do u feel about interracial couples?
chindians are the hottest. for me its pretty fine, i like.
28.have u been burned by love?
burnt? as in heartbroken? yeah, with a certain person. awful awful mistake i'll nv repeat.
29.whats your favourite pick-up line?
yeah ryte / god please okay! / you bitch
30.whats your main ringtone on your mobile phone?
its on silent now cos im using a chapalang phone, before it was nerrupae.
31.what were u doing at midnight last night?
talking on the phone.
32.what did the last text on your cellphone say?
"okay. sleep tight.loves!"
33.whose bed did u sleep in last?
my cousins.
34.what colour shirt are u wearing?
my swimsuit cos im going for a swim in awhile.
35.most recent movie you watched?
just my luck.
36.name three things you have on you at all times?
wallet.phone.earpiece.earings.
37.what colour are your bedsheets?
sexaye purple
38.how much cash do you have on you right now?
10bucks :(
39.what is your favourite part of the chicken?
drumlettt.
whats your favourite town/city?
basement at fareast food shops.cine.heeren.
41.i can't wait till...
i get a new phone and the model&actress set a date
42.what did u have for dinner last night?
bread with curry.
43. do you own a gun?
shahirra's one yes.
44.what do u prefer to drink in the morning?
MILOO!
45.where do you think you'll be in 10 years time?
aussie or new delhi hopefully doiing smth in media.
46.last thing u ate?
MILOO! HAHA
47.what songs do u sing in the toilet?
anyth that hitss me.
48.last thing that made you laugh?
when my baby cousin shook his ass to some song&kissed me when i danced with him((x
49.worst injury you've ever had?
i broke my front tooth with a bang on the wall x[
50.does someone have a crush on you?
i know one who does.
51.whats your favourite candy?
REDapples&yougurt with nuts are my current addiction but candy? uhm, MON CHERI(:
52.what song do you want played at your funeral?
no promises by shane? haha. i dunt think muslims play songs anw, its more islamic things
53.four random people to do this?
no one in particular.



the pool's calling me. (: