coincedence really, i was about to remind myself to update today before dearest jared had to tag my board and remind me to update this blog of mine that was lapsing itself into some decayed lump. i feel enlightenedd and a little fervent. 5days of arduous work before i can get my assed glued to some chair, sit with a good book or a loong blissful sleep, texting or just sitting back with the people i love and call all the chinese in the world kailan and feel really really good with no stupid studying need.


ilove my friday ppl. (baking next week!)
ilove my saturday ppl. act3&lazy lunches![:
ilove my weekends (:



-- now, im quite suure you're thinking im foolishly gay today.

but the week had been filled with test aft test&hmwrk i nvr felt the need to really put in so much effort to get my stupid sponge like brain to absorb all the stuff. sec3 academics isnt smth thats going to easily achieved, im pretty sure.



--but for now, enough of my childish talk of school.


the thing that got highlighted in my eyes was the word TRAGEDIES (thanks to nina)
a word we use very often. smth to describe the despondence of a certain event.
and this event differs from person to person. and the talk abt each person's views on the word TRAGEDIES, is where i got all cranky,whiny and i start to cry cos my heart is puny and always has t burst to torrents of tears. but it doesnt matter i guess, it helps me as a character. and the things i classified as the biggest tradgedy to me wld be
1) insulting someone till they're agonized and the next day, you find them dead. (personal experience with this fyi, the feeling plauges me and makes me feel all so battered&bruised)
2) watching someone you love so much, slip out of yr hands. ( personal experience too, the darling berapa of mine :( )
3) rejection. (big.bold.personal)


muse over it, you find yourself wondering so much whats your abilities are in this world? what are your limits and how much you've strained yrself. &if you pushed yrself to help this person who needed all the help in the world (1&2) im thankful to god that none of my friends have died because it wld cause a heartbreak i wont be able to bear. so amen_

the other tragedy is,

"..the world's biggest tragedy that even science/law carnt find answers for"
- human intentions.

once again, ponder over it. how incredible it is that, no one can understand our intentions unless we openly speak abt it. and the sad part is how, intentions can be misread

"after i saw norma bathing that day, i cldnt sleep. everything was different, her body parts. i couldn't sleep that night but when i did the next morning i wet my pants but i nvr understood why, but mum kept slapping me, i never ever knew why but she did"
-flowers for algernon, before charlie became intellegent.
charlie was unaware that he had erected and he was just going through phases,
he was innocent mentally but not physically. his intentions were pure (i can vouch for that) but his mother thought other wise. i'll post smth which i thought over when i was listening to secondhand serenade's vulnerable. how phenomenal or disturbing would it be if human intentions/emotions were fully understood by each person? talk to me.+



-- on a more girly tone, i wanna shout outt(:























1) indian muslims are hot hot hot!
2) my wedding will be as awesome&similar to ajis pa's son's! the wedding was impeccable&irreplacable.
deserving outstanding standing ovation.
1) heavenly food.
2) the sweetest and best coloured matched combination for the general deco.
3) decent and romantic music.
4) excellent taste of bangra dance and the pretty girls did a dance.
5) the bride&groom were looking good in their clothes.
i cannot describe the ambience, it has to be seen to be loved. but my wedding wld be the same. god bless that im related to ajispa(:







xoxo the diva ; { 2 very disturbingly different pics }

everyone says the worrld is such a small place but the issues are just so enormous.
the boy says, he'll wait for me as long as i make him too, but then he drops horny hints on how he wants his answer now. like wtfh? adding on to that my parents tell me they'd try to understand me, but they still want me back at home by 4 everyday when sch ends at 3! a new girl i meet tells me, i look so pretty and she's seen me before but yet she goes home&complains abt me being ugly&indecent to her mother. i mean, why all the lies? its okay to put in some superficial smalll white lies, cos life is like that but sometimes i wanna know the real piece of a person. and
its funny how everyone wants to love&make each other smile. some just try too hard to make it work while my darlings do the honours of making me high.


school has been such a pain in my ass.
the subjects i take are pretty normal, besides math (but thank you, oh so much jared&b.z&ali =D) my books weigh a tonne and i havent gotten my locker. no point droning on abt school, but im getting used to 3/7, lets just say im beginning to think its a pleasent class? ((: i need my break of going to town, besides satuurday. i mean, i want to go out with my clique like i used to in the hols. i miss that so much :( but im so busy, i dunt even hv time for 10hrs sleep now.
rawrrrrr.



on a final note,
crying is good. yes you read it right. crying is very good infact. this week i weeped alot, whether in despondence or ecstacy or just to relieve the burden in my soul i dunt rmb. but im very sure, the end result is very pleasing, you feel so buoyant! its like the torrent of salt from your eyes makes you feel so and plus, i managed to train myself to cry when in the emotional scene in carrie's lions&smile aft that. i no more hv trust in the "..crying is so depressing" its no more the final paroxysm when smth pricks at you. so cheers to the tears baby [:

sometimes you hv this sudden urge to be always there with someone,
and they're just not there; its a complete sucker.

3days of sch have rushed past me, i think i've almost gotten the taste of sec3.
PILES OF WORK.STUPID STRICT DISCIPLINE. (i almost got caught for my skirt&hair) WIERDbutNICE TEACHERS.SHIT ASS LOAD OF STUDYING.LAST YRS TORMENT PILES.


=[ i miss my darlings. many many many many! but atleast friday was gooood[:















love the way, when i turn and stare at them,
they appear to hv the same expression.
crave for the way, we shake our heads&guffaw at bizzare things.
talk cock for hours and scream&whine when we hv to go back t our places.
now, we're like in different classes. demn!
"..not that the ppl in my class cant make me smile"-shal.
its just theres this magical difference.
2yrs with T.S, cheerios to the fun! [;

--




anw, friday was CCA OPEN HSE, and the oh-so-royal eldds member i was. i worked my ass off to beseech students to get their asses into ELDDS. but obv there were so many who shook their heads and were more interested in flicking the skirts in cheer, our shooting balls in netball.
no no, im so not condemning the other ccas, it just really really is rotten how sometimes there cant be many english speaking ppl in my sch :[ we need to recruit sec1s BADLY! and i seriously want the post of president/vice pres :[ im sure eldds wld do good in my hands! i want the oppurtunity man! god bestow it to me puh-leasee! we definately got alot of attention but only 5puny 13yr olds, signed up :[ daaaaamit! i really think we were a hit with the tchers.
check the chicks out! [:

sometimes you hv this sudden urge to be always there with someone,
and they're just not there; its a complete sucker.

3days of sch have rushed past me, i think i've almost gotten the taste of sec3.
PILES OF WORK.STUPID STRICH DISCIPLINE.(i almost got caught for my skirt&hair,stupid dm)WIERDbutNICE TEACHERS.SHIT ASS LOAD OF STUDYING.LASTYRS

5:55 PM